Frederic Ogden Nash was an American poet well known for his light verse. At the time of his death in 1971, the New York Times said his "droll verse with its unconventional rhymes made him the country's best-known producer of humorous poetry".
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American poet famous for light verse.
Buried in East Side Cemetery, North Hampton, New Hampshire.
Pictured on a USA 37 commemorative postage stamp in the Literary Arts series, issued 19 August 2002 (100th anniversary of his birth).
Biography in: "Contemporary Authors". New Revision Series, volume 61, pg. 340-344. Detroit, MI: Gale Research, 1998.
I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern,unstoned.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing,up.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers,birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and,that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, but hating, my boy, is an,art.
Home is heaven and orgies are vile, but you need an orgy once in a,while.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
A man and a woman will never be incompatible, as long as he has income,and she is pattable.
[on animals] The cow of the bovine ilk; One end is moo, the other milk.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Higgledy piggledy, my black hen,She lays eggs for gentlemen. Gentlemen come every dayTo count what my black hen doth lay. If perchance she lays too many,They fine my hen a pretty penny;If perchance she fails to lay,The gentlemen a bonus pay. Mumbledy pumbledy, my red cow,She’s cooperating now. At first she didn’t understandThat milk production must be planned;She didn’t understand at firstShe either had to plan or burst,But now the government reportsShe’s giving pints instead of quarts. Fiddle de dee, my next-door neighbors,They are giggling at their labors. First they plant the tiny seed,Then they water, then they weed,Then they hoe and prune and lop,They they raise a record crop,Then they laugh their sides asunder,And plow the whole caboodle under. Abracadabra, thus we learnThe more you create, the less you earn. The less you earn, the more you’re given,The less you lead, the more you’re driven,The more destroyed, the more they feed,The more you pay, the more they need,The more you earn, the less you keep,And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to takeIf the tax-collector hasn’t got it before I wake.
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.
Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.
Parsley is gharsley.
. . . I would not engage the wombatIn any form of mortal combat.
Were it not for frustration and humiliationI suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.
I am tarred and feathered with Time.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
The Bronx? No Thonx!,In the world of mulesThere are no rules.
Senescence begins And middle age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends.
Middle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else and usually is.
Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin with a grin.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.
Parsely is gharsley.
In the world of mules there are no rules.
There are people who are very resourceful At being remorseful And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends Is to do something terrible and then make amends.
Purity is obscurity.
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
