Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Velma Kelley In an act of desperation My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop My sister and I were headed straight for the top My sister and I earned a thou a week, at least oh yeah But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased I know it's sad, of course But a fact is still a fact And now all that remains Is the remains of a perfect double act Watch this Now you have to imagine it With two people It's swell with two people First I'd Then she'd Then we'd But I can't do it alone Then she'd Then I'd Then we'd But I can't do it alone She'd say,"What's your sister like?" I'd say "Man" She'd say "You're the cat's meow!" Then we'd wow the crowd again When she'd go I'd go We'd go Then those ding dong daddies started a roar Whistles, stomped, stamped on the floor Yellin', screamin' begging for more And we'd say "Okay fellas Keep your socks up 'Cause you ain't seen nothin' yet" But I simply cannot do it alone So what do you think? Come on, you can say I know you're right, the first part's shit But the second part The second part is really nifty Okay She'd go I'd go We'd go And then those two bit Johnnys did it up brown To cheer the best attraction in town They nearly tore the balcony down And we'd say "Okay boys, we're going home But before we go here's a few more pardon shots" And this, this we did in perfect unison Now you see me goin' through it You may think there's nothin' to it But I simply cannot do it alone
